Here Comes the Sun

by Angela on June 29, 2020

I’m not sure when spring ended and summer began. It’s been a weird year so far, to put it mildly. But here we are in northern Virginia facing 90+ degree days, finding ways to venture outdoors, and planning, canceling and re-planning (hopefully not re-canceling) beach vacations. So what better time to share some of my fun in the sun items I’m loving right now!

1. Here Comes the Sun graphic tee from Pink Lily – lightweight polyester blend with cute graphic to celebrate summer.

2. Goodr Sunglasses – My teenager started wearing these when he joined the cross country team. I bought myself a pair because they’re inexpensive ($25), they DON’T SLIP, and I feel cool. 😎

3. Super Goop Everyday Lotion – SPF 50, clean ingredients and comes in a large pump version that sits out conveniently on our counter 24/7 for my fair-skinned boys.

4. Super Goop Antioxidant Body Mist – SPF 50, ready for the beach and did I already mention clean ingredients?

5. Super Goop Glowscreen – SPF 40, sheer tint for my face to round out my Super Goop arsenal.

6. Cerave Daily Facial Moisturizing Lotion – SPF 30 that I apply every single morning for daily facial sunscreen.

I’m wearing a medium but could have gone with a small.

This is not a paid ad despite what it looks like! I just love my Super Goop products!

As cool as the teenagers in their Goodrs!

Happy Summer!

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Million Dollar Spaghetti

by Angela on April 29, 2020

In the middle of a world pandemic, the need for comfort foods (and comfort leggings, comfort naps, comfort chocolate…) is strong. Today I was definitely feeling the need for comfort food, so queue the baked spaghetti.

There are a lot of “Million Dollar Spaghetti” recipes, so I combined a couple based on ingredients I had on hand and came up with a winning combination. In lieu of store-bought shredded mozzarella (couldn’t find it anywhere), I actually shredded mozzarella cheesesticks instead! Hey, you do what you gotta do when cooking during covid! I was also able to “hide” whole wheat spaghetti in this dish since it was smothered with so much cheesy goodness. The kids didn’t even notice they were eating “ugh, brown pasta”. 🙂

I hope this recipe brings you comfort like it did for us!

Print Recipe

Million Dollar Spaghetti

Prep Time30 mins
Cook Time30 mins
Total Time1 hr
Servings: 4

Ingredients

  • 8 oz. spaghetti noodles
  • 4 Tbs. butter divided
  • 1 lbs. ground beef
  • 2 cloves garlic minced
  • 1/2 onion diced
  • 1 jar spaghetti sauce
  • 1/2 cup ricotta cheese
  • 4 oz. cream cheese softened
  • 2 Tbs sour cream
  • 1 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella divided

Instructions

  • Cook spaghetti as directed, drain and mix with 2 Tbs. butter and 1/2 jar of sauce.
  • Brown ground beef with garlic and onions.
  • Add remaining sauce to meat mixture.
  • In a bowl, mix the ricotta cheese, cream cheese, sour cream and half the shredded cheese.
  • Place remaining pats of butter at bottom of casserole dish.
  • Layer: 1/2 of noodles + cheese mixture + remaining noodles + meat mixture.
  • Top with remaining shredded cheese and bake at 350 until heated through and cheese is melted, approximately 30 minutes.

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Snacks: Kale Chips

by Angela on February 23, 2020

My husband is on a kale chips kick so we’ve been making them a couple times a week. I’d like to say this has made us experts on making them, but in reality, we seem to burn every 4th or 5th batch. There is a FINE LINE between perfect kale chips and burnt, inedible kale chips. And as many of you know, the input to output ratio of kale chips is quite humorous, so you really don’t want to mess it up. Case in point….Input:

Output:

But we’re getting better. So here’s some pointers I’ve learned along the way:

  • Buy the pre-cut, triple-washed bag of kale in the largest bag you can find. Trust me on this one…it’s a HUGE time saver.
  • Use a paper towel to pat the leaves dry after spreading the batch out on your cooking sheet. Any moisture on the leaves will result in soggy chips.
  • Remove any of the hard ribs.
  • Use an olive oil spritzer to spray the leaves and sprinkle a little sea salt.
  • I bake at 350 degrees and start checking after 10 minutes. I usually have to cook for more like 13 or 14 minutes, but I check after every additional minute to make sure I don’t cross that fine line into burnt chips territory.
  • My husband discovered that storing them in a paper bag keeps them from getting soggy so you can enjoy them for days after you have made them.
  • ENJOY a healthy snack that satisfies that crunchy, salty craving!

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Breakfast: Brussels Sprouts and Sweet Potatoes Hash

by Angela on March 8, 2019

Anyone ever buy vegetables for a great recipe but then have to throw them out because you forgot about them sitting in your fridge? Yeah, me neither. So I may or may not have wasted at least one good container of shaved Brussels sprouts before finally making this yummy, healthy breakfast recipe.

It was super easy to make and I topped with an egg for a little something extra. Speaking of eggs, this is what I’ve been making my eggs in:

This was a $10 (ish) gift I bought my husband for Christmas (he loves his eggs! 😂). But guess who uses it ALL THE TIME?! It makes a perfect egg for my breakfast sandwiches.

Anyway, back to the hash. If you can find pre-shaved Brussels sprouts, this recipe just got a whole lot easier for you. I bought mine from Wegmans.

So with only 4 main ingredients (bacon not pictured) and quick to whip up, this recipe was a winner for me. It made about 4 servings. Enjoy!

Print Recipe

Brussels Sprouts and Sweet Potatoes Hash

Ingredients

  • 4 slices of bacon chopped
  • 1 sweet potato peeled and cubed
  • 1 small onion diced
  • 1 lb. Brussels sprouts shaved or halved
  • 1 clove minced garlic
  • Salt and pepper

Instructions

  • Cook bacon in large pan until crispy. Remove and set aside.
  • Add onions and sweet potatoes to pan and cook until fork tender, about 7 minutes.
  • Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute.
  • Add Brussels sprouts and sauté for about 10 more minutes. Add in bacon and mix.
  • Season with salt and pepper.

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Healthy Snack: Protein Bites

by Angela on February 17, 2019

I’m always looking for simple snacks that are easy to grab and go, tastes good, but are still good for you. This recipe was passed on to me from my friend, Janet, who is a Shaklee rep, but I have modified it to work for my family. Because my oldest son has nut allergies (peanuts are okay but no tree nuts), I had to change a few things, including the protein mix I use. Wegmans brand isn’t processed with nuts 👍🏼 and is reasonably priced. I also have to swap out almond butter with peanut butter and limit the mix-ins I use (no nuts, seeds or coconut). But I like to give credit where credit is due, so here is how the original recipe was given to me:

I love when a recipe has written notes on it because that means it’s been tried and modified to be even better! 😊 So thank you Janet for the recipe that I now use weekly for a nice little protein-packed snack stash that tastes like Reese’s Peanut Butter cups!

They may look like meatballs 😆 but they definitely don’t taste like meatballs.  Enjoy!

Print Recipe

Protein Bites

Prep Time30 mins

Ingredients

  • 1 cup protein powder
  • 1-1/4 cup rolled oats
  • 2/3 cup honey
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 cup peanut butter or other nut butter

Optional Mix-Ins:

  • 1/2 cup mini chocolate chips, seeds, dried fruit or nuts

Instructions

  • Combine all dry ingredients in a bowl and set aside.
  • In a sauce pan, bring honey to a boil, then immediately remove from heat and add peanut or other nut better and vanilla. Stir until smooth.
  • Pour nut butter mixture into bowl of dry ingredients and stir until combined.
  • Add any optional mix-ins (if using chocolate chips, make sure oat mixture is cooled). 
  • Press into ungreased 9"x13" glass dish or roll into 1-1/2" balls on parchment paper. 
  • Cool in refrigerator before cutting into squares and storing in container.  Keep refrigerated.

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Breakfast Meal Prep: Egg Muffins

by admin on September 20, 2018

I’ve come to the realization that FOOD causes a lot of my every day stress. I worry about the food budget (second largest expense we have each month).  I worry about if I’m feeding my family healthy food.  I worry about what food to pack the kids for lunch. I worry about what food is missing from the pantry or fridge.  I worry about what foods need to be on my shopping list. I worry about what food to make for dinner…on the daily. I worry about how the foods I’m eating will show on my hips and thighs.  Food is a part of my money stress, health stress, time stress, and disorganization stress. Food…the other F word.

But for some reason, breakfast has always been the toughest meal for me. I love a good breakfast, but I struggle with time in the morning and eating something healthy and filling.  I’m either rushing out the door eating nothing, or grabbing something quick and unhealthy in the morning. Both options leave me starving less than an hour later. So this week I tried something different. I made these easy, healthy, protein-packed containers at the beginning of the week:

 

Breakfast meal prep

 

Egg Muffin ✔

Cheese ✔

Nuts & Berries ✔

Coffee ✔

My mornings were less rushed, I ate healthy, and I remained full until almost lunch time. My oldest has a tree nut allergy, so I think I’m going to make these again next week for the kids and substitute Cascadian Farms granola cereal for the almonds. I’ll feel much better sending them off to school after eating these, than what they have been eating…which I will not divulge because it’s rather embarrassing.

The egg muffins were super easy to make and you can use any “fillings” you have in your fridge. For this week, I had some leftover chicken sausage sitting in the fridge that I chopped up and added for an additional protein punch. I also sprinkled in some parsley and shredded cheese. Super easy, yummy and good for you.  Enjoy!  

 

Easy Egg Muffins

 6 large eggs

1/4 cup milk

salt & pepper, to taste

Fillings of your choice (sausage, bacon, onions, red peppers, shredded cheese, etc.)

 

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Spray a regular 12-cup muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray.

2. In a large bowl, beat eggs until smooth.  Add milk, salt & pepper and any filling ingredients and mix.  

3. Pour egg mixture into greased muffin cups about 3/4 full.  

4. Bake for 20-25 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool before removing them from the pan.

 

 

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Angela’s Favorite Things 2017

by Angela on December 4, 2017

You know how Oprah has her favorite things list during the holidays every year?  Well this is sort of like that, only it’s not.  For one, I’m not Oprah and I’m definitely not giving anything away.  But I still thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite things that I use on a pretty regular basis. You will see there aren’t any high-end products on here, because I’m a little on the cheap side, and the list is pretty random. I just went about my day, and as I came across something I use that I really like, I would think, “Ooh I really love this!  I should add to my favorite things list!”, hence the randomness. This also isn’t really a gift guide, although I wouldn’t mind any of these things in my stocking or under the tree!  And, as a side note, I am not affiliated with any of these products or companies in any way, so nothing promotional going on here, just my little, humble opinion.  

So without further ado, here is a list of Angela’s Favorite Things 2017, in no particular order:

Aveeno Postively Radiant CC Cream with Sunscreen

Aveeno

Just the other day I was talking to some friends about my “gym makeup” vs. my everyday makeup.  This product is my gym makeup.  It’s very light, and it’s tinted (technically CC = Color Correcting) so it gives me a little coverage, yet I still feel like I’m going bare, but not really.  And it seems to have a bit of iridescence to it so it gives me a dewy look.  And, honestly, it is sometimes the only base I will put on, even for my everyday makeup. It’s sunscreen in a CC cream and I’m all about consolidating steps to my morning routine!

 

Cetaphil Daily Facial Moisturizer with Sunscreen

Cetaphil


I discovered this awesome face sunscreen this past summer. I was looking for something I could wear everyday, either alone or under makeup, but I didn’t want it to be thick and pasty (or expensive!). I wanted something that was light and absorbed quickly, but protected my skin. I spent a little time and money to fade some melasma on my face last year and I didn’t want one day out in the sun to ruin all that effort. While the Aveeno has a nice SPF of 30, this Cetaphil packs a punch at an SPF of 50+.  As you can tell from the picture, I’m almost completely out of it, but since I’m not spending long hours outside right now, I haven’t run out to replace it yet.  It’s not available at my local Target anymore, but I’m guessing it will come back around summer. I’ll still keep my eyes peeled for it, or order from Amazon soon, because it will be good to have if we hit the slopes this winter.  And an added plus is the kids find it much easier to apply than regular sunscreen! 


Blow Dry Lotion

Blow dry lotion

I’m going to sound like a commercial for a minute.  Do you have thick hair that takes forever to dry? Do you only half-dry your hair because you ain’t got time for that?  Then you need blow dry lotion!  I bought this as part of a set at some point when there was some special going on.  I seem to recall it was a groupon deal or something similar.  The fact that I don’t remember should show that this stuff lasts a LONG time. The brand is N.4 (Number 4), but I imagine most of the blow dry lotions work the same. I’m not even sure where to buy this particular brand anymore so when it’s time to replenish, I will probably just look for something similar.  Anyway, I rub this in my wet hair, just a small pea size amount, and then blow dry.  I swear it cuts down my dry time in HALF while giving me some body as well.  You need it, trust me.

 

John Frieda Sea Salt Spray

Sea Salt spray

The time and effort I put into my hair style every day is pretty minimal.  I wash my hair at night and most of the time I dry with the above blow dry lotion, but sometimes I even just let it air dry and go to bed with it damp.  Then I wake up in the morning, run a brush through it and spray with this sea salt spray and go.  I’m pretty sure my hairstyle shows my lack of effort, but it’s good enough for me! This sea salt spray smells yummy, reminding me of coconut, sunscreen and the beach. I give my hair a little tousle and voila, the wind blown beach look. 

 

Essie Nail Polish in Chinchilly

Nails

My all time favorite nail polish color right here.  It’s the perfect grey and looks great on fingernails and toenails.  Great stocking stuffer or as part of a little spa gift set.  😉  That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

 

Fabletics Subscription

Have you been wondering about this subscription?  I know there’s so many out there and it’s hard to commit to a subscription without knowing much about the product. Well my husband bought this subscription for me for Christmas a couple years ago and Fabletics is now 90% of my fitness wardrobe.  I have a VIP membership (not sure what other levels are available) and I pay $49.95 per month, giving me access to complete workout outfits (usually leggings/workout tights or pants and a workout tank top). Some of the outfits are a little more, so it depends on what you choose, but for the most part, I have only chosen $49.95 outfits, which is still cheaper than a complete outfit of similar quality at a regular retailer. The great thing is, if I don’t like any of the outfits for a particular month, or if I don’t want to spend the money that month (which happens more often than not!), then I just skip that month and I don’t get charged. Have I been unhappy with some items?  Sure. Either they didn’t fit like it looked in the picture (which could be more a result of my body shape than the product!) or the material wasn’t what I expected, but for the most part I have been happy with the quality and fit and have found some favorites that I have ordered again in multiple colors. 

 

Athleta Criss Cross Sweathsirt

Athleta

Speaking of fitness gear, Athleta is my favorite store for athleisure wear.  Unfortunately, most of their items are a splurge for my stay-at-home-mom budget, but whenever I do treat myself to an item, I’m always, always in love with it.  This sweatshirt is no exception.  Fit is perfect, it’s super soft and comfy, and if you can get in on any of their local discounts (friends and family, holiday, etc.) then it’s a tad more affordable (regular price right now is $69). I wear this sweatshirt AT LEAST once a week, if not more, so I’m totally getting my money’s worth.  And it washes real well too, thankfully!  It’s already on my Christmas list in another color and if it goes on sale closer to summer, then I will definitely be buying in yet another color!  

 

Essential Oil Diffuser and DoTerra’s On Guard

Diffuser

Oh, finally something that is a little more Everyday Road to Healthy…essential oils!  I am in no way an expert or an advocate of essential oils.  And while I have a doTerra oil on my favorite things list, I’m not trying to push any particular brand, this just happens to be the brand I started buying a few years ago and have stuck with.  This particular oil blend, On Guard, is their immunity blend. It smells a little cinnamon and spice-y.  I use this mostly once school starts and will diffuse it in the morning while the kids are getting ready for school, or they will put a drop on the bottom of their feet before putting on their socks. I personally have no proven, medical facts that it works, but my kids have managed to remain fairly healthy the past couple years (knock on wood), so I am convinced.  At minimum, it gives me peace of mind knowing I’m doing something to give them a fighting chance against any viruses going around their germ-y school. And this diffuser has been great. I just happened to come across it on Amazon and it was the right price and had the features I like…2 levels of output, timer, auto shut-off and the nightlight/colored light feature. Plus it looks very zen. 🙂 This brand is TaoTronics if you want a brand name, but really there’s so many out there with great reviews on Amazon.  This diffuser has a fill line for the water and then I just had 4-5 drops of the essential oil I want to diffuse. Some of my other favorites are doTerra’s Serenity blend (lavender-vanilla scent), wild orange and peppermint, just to name a few!

 

So there you have it, Angela’s Favorite Things 2017!  Obviously my favorite things in life aren’t really things, but since my kids can’t be wrapped up and put under a tree, I came up with this list instead. I’d love to hear some of your favorite things because I am way far off from finishing my Christmas shopping and could really use some ideas!  

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Thankful for November

by Angela on November 14, 2017

I love reading everyone’s daily status updates on things they are thankful for during the month of November. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret.  The thing I am most thankful for once November comes around is that October is over! I know, I know, it doesn’t make any sense. I am a breast cancer survivor and what a great month to make everyone aware of the disease.  And I help run a breast cancer charity, so what a great month for our charity because of all the support we receive.  But I honestly have a love/hate relationship with October.

By October 31st I am pinked-out.  And I don’t mean pinked-out like those fun, all-pink high school football games that usually raise money for a breast cancer charity. I mean pinked-out as in I would be totally happy if the color pink stopped existing just for a hot minute. Part of me sees pink and thinks, oh what a lovely color and how awesome that people wear it to show their support of such an ugly disease.  And another part of me sees pink and am reminded of the year I was diagnosed, had major surgery, lost my hair and wasn’t sure if anything I was doing to get rid of cancer was going to work. As much as I try not to let breast cancer define me, it still does, and more so in October.

But what I love about October is how so many people and local businesses want to help, not just with my breast cancer charity, but all breast cancer charities. This past October we had pink hair extensions at a local hair salon, we had a pink cycle ride, pink barre classes, we had a pink happy hour at a local brewery and yes, even pink-out high school games.  The local community truly is amazing around me.  And while I personally struggle through October because of the reminder of what I went through NINE years ago, it has become a month of awareness and action on the fight against breast cancer.

Part of the definition of who I am is “Survivor.”  October will always be both an important month and a long month for me. But nine Octobers since my diagnosis and I am still here, and I plan to enjoy many, many more. And for that, I am thankful.

Pink football game

Pink Powder Puff game at a local high school

Pink spread

Beautiful pink spread at a barre class at Native Barre

Pink cycle

Fun but sweaty pink cycle class at PopCycle

Ono brewery

Pink happy hour at Ono Brewing Company

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Veterans Day 2017

by Angela and Deena on November 11, 2017

 

As we celebrate Veterans Day today. Let us pause and salute all who have served and honor the tremendous sacrifices our US armed forces and their families make to preserve our freedom. Thank you for your dedication, service and bravery.

Veterans-Day-2017

The following piece was originally posted in November of 2011:

On a more personal note we wanted to say thank you to our Dads.

Deena:

Deena’s Dad – Lt. Col. Chris K. Rash, US Army, Retired

I’ll be honest, it took me becoming an adult to fully appreciate all that my father did as part of his military career.  I always knew that my dad was in the Army… or I should say I don’t remember a moment where I didn’t know what he did.  I saw him daily leave for work in his uniform.  He was in the Army and that was just his “job“.

Every now and then he’d leave for a long weekend or for a couple weeks and head out to “the field“.  I just envisioned this as a fun place where they’d drive around in tanks or trucks, camp in tents and eat MREs, or Meal, Ready to Eat (which if my brother and I were lucky – he’d bring home a couple extra for us).   My mom would keep us busy and hold down the home front for him until he returned ( I know how tough that must have been and have no doubt that she is the glue that held our family together.. but that’s another story for another day).

I remember the exact moment that I was told that not only was my dad a helicopter pilot in Vietnam but he was shot down and severely injured during the crash.  I remember because we were at my grandparents house and my uncle told me…  maybe he thought I knew.  I didn’t.  And I had nightmares for a long time afterwards and just the thought of what “could have happened” had me refusing to ask my dad about his days in Vietnam until I was much, much older.

But now, I can listen and be proud of all that he endured.  I can sit in awe at the stories he and his friends tell about their experiences in war and other military experiences.  I have since learned that he wasn’t just shot down once during that war but multiple times.  And I wonder how could he continue to go up again and again after being shot down; up until the time when he couldn’t go up again.  But I know the answer… he did it for the men he fought with, his family and friends at home, for his future children and their freedoms, and maybe because he has just a little bit of restlessness in him (he wouldn’t have wanted to sit on the sidelines).

My dad (on left) in front of his helicopter

More recently I was having a conversation with a colleague who mentioned that he was in the infantry during Vietnam.  I shared that my father had flown OH-6 helicopters back then.  His reply was “Tell him thank you for me”… which must have prompted a confused look from me.  So he said – “your dad would have been a scouter – flying close to the tree lines locating enemy position, strength and movement.  His job kept a lot of us safe”.

So, Dad – thank you for keeping us safe.  I am very aware of where my strength and perseverance from.  I love you and am honored to be your daughter.

Angela:

Like Deena, I grew up as a “military brat”. My dad was in the Air Force and we moved around every 3-4 years, lived on Air Force bases, went to the BX and the commissary, had ID cards and lived in base housing. It took a while for me to realize there was another “life” besides the military life. Not everyone’s dad dressed up in uniform to go to work and saluted people everywhere they went. I didn’t take for granted what my dad did, I just didn’t know. My dad wasn’t on the front line, but he put in his blood, sweat and tears to serve the military, to serve our country.

Angela’s dad – Lt. Col. George Dhuy, USAF, Retired

My dad met my mom when he was stationed in Vietnam during the Vietnam War. He couldn’t bring her home to meet his family. He couldn’t fly his family to Vietnam to meet her. There was a war going on. He married my mom in Vietnam, during a war, without anyone from his side of the family by his side. This is one of the many sacrifices our military men and women make. They spend time away from home and family. They miss the birth of their children, first steps, first words, birthdays, holidays.

But my dad was never absent.  He traveled quite a bit, yet he was always there.  Somehow he managed a demanding career while being the best dad to me and my brother and a great husband to my mom.  And through the years he taught me what it means to be an honorable person.  He taught me about making sacrifices and being humble, about empathy and generosity, and let’s face it, he’s a miltary man so he taught me about timeliness, scheduling and organization!

So I thank my dad, not just for the blood, sweat and tears he put into serving our country, but for the blood, sweat and tears he put into being the best dad and helping me believe in myself and becoming the best that I can be.  I am still learning from him and am so blessed to call him Dad.

Today, on Veterans Day as we honor those who risk their lives for us, please think about taking a moment to make a tax deductible donation to the Wounded Warrior Project.  Or sign up to volunteer at one of their events.  This charity helps  thousands of wounded warriors returning home battle  and  provides assistance to their families.

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Finding Mindfulness

by Deena on November 7, 2017

meditation

At a time when we are always connected and generally distracted, is it any surprise that we are struggling to connect with the things we really value? Our sense of wonder, our ability to create, our true connections to one another. How does one go about being present and mindful? What does being mindful even mean?

According to Job Kabat-Zinn, founder of the University of Massachusetts Medical Center’s Mindfulness – Based Stress Reduction Program, “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

Um, ok. But where does one even start?  

For me I decided to  try meditation. Which goes something like this:

I find some quiet time in the early afternoon after I finishing up a couple writing assignments for work and before my kids get home from school.  I select our spare bedroom as my meditation space, partly because the lighting seems calming and peaceful but mostly because when I look around the room I don’t see a million other things I should be doing like dusting, straightening up or folding laundry…

So, I plop down sitting Indian-style on the floor in the room with my hands resting on my knees.

However, before I can even start to think about how to meditate, I hear my friend’s voice in my head chastising  me “we no longer say Indian-style… it’s criss-cross-apple-sauce because that’s less offensive”. Which starts an internal debate in my head as to whether Native American Indians are really upset with that term or whether she is just overly cautious about not offending people. I decide more research is needed and take a mental note to Google it later.

Concentrate I tell myself as I close my eyes and focus on my breath – I breathe in through my nose and feel my chest rise. Hum, I think I’m supposed to inhale through my mouth and feel the air fill into my abdomen.

Nope. I still only feel it in my chest.

I try inhaling through my nose. Still no rising in my abdomen.

I push the walls of my stomach outward with my ab muscles as I exhale making myself look several months pregnant. Then pull my belly in while sucking the air back into my lungs.

It’s hard to breathe. And not relaxing at all. This can’t be right.

So, I decide to just breathe normally – in and out.  Ok this I can do.

I tell myself to relax and just breathe.

My mind wanders to what I should fix for dinner….

Focus on breathing I tell myself.

A whole internal dialog ensues about how boring it is to focus on breathing.

I shish myself.

I try to relax when suddenly there is pressure on multiple spots on my leg followed by a spread of warmth. I open one eye to find my cat curled up in the center of my lap. Her body vibrating as she slowly kneads one paw at a time into my leg. “Well, don’t you look content,” I say petting her.

A sharp prick of her claws has me yelping as I pick her up from my lap. She glares at me with annoyance as I set her down outside the room and shut the door.

OK let’s try this again I think resuming my position on the floor.

I try not to think about the fact that I’ve wasted time, that the kids will be coming home soon and that I have plenty of other things I could be doing. Just focus on yourself.  Breathe.  In.  Out. Focus.

There is a whine followed by frantic scratching at the door.

It’s the dog.

While he was fine hanging out by himself moments ago. Now he has decided that the closed door means I am in immediate danger and the only way I’ll survive is if he tunnels beneath.

I sigh and open the door.

You’re alive! His movements shout as he dances around me. I shake my head and slide down to the ground leaning against the doorframe.

I give up.

The dog lays down beside me as I pet him. The cat not wanting to be left out, makes her way back onto my lap needling me with her claws before settling in.

I close my eyes as I stroke their fur. The cat’s soft like a stuffed animal, the dog’s coarser.

We remain in the doorway, relaxed and calm. I think about the both of them.

How we brought the dog from a breeder when our oldest child was terminal with cancer. How the dog would sit for hours curled up in a chair or on the bed next to our son. My mind replays watching my son run his hands through the dog’s fur as medicine pumped through an IV line attached to him.

 

 

The cat we would find in a drainage pipe maybe a year after our son passed away. At the time she seemed so helplessly tiny and all alone. We would spend years trying to convince the cat that she was loved. She would spend equally as long avoiding all of us as much as possible. I’m not sure when she finally decided that we were worthy of her but eventually she did.

All of this comes to mind as I sit in the doorway petting our animals.

I think about the fact that I failed at meditation… didn’t even come close.

But then I smile. I did however find a way to be mindful… to be grateful for what was right in front of me.  So perhaps God, the universe, fate… was reminding me that being mindful doesn’t require a big change on my part.  It just requires paying attention in the moment.

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