Everyday Road to Healthy

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2008. For Breast Cancer Awareness month, I am continuing to share parts of my online journal that kept my friends and family updated throughout my treatment. Today I am piecing together a look at the many appointments and tests that happen before a treatment plan is ever put in place. Between Sep 15 and Sep 26, I had already been to four appointments for initial consults and second opinions, so now here we are on appointment number 5:

Sep 26, 2008 – …Today I had the breast MRI and the pelvic ultrasound. Besides the power going out in the middle of my MRI and having to restart the entire test (!!!!) that test was pretty easy. I was a little nervous laying face down while the machine knocked and whirred around me, but I’m sure it is just a cakewalk compared to what I have ahead. And finally some good news…my ovaries look fine. Whew. That test was just a precaution since the two cancers are linked, but it was nice to get a negative result for once.

Sept 29, 2008 – … The MRI results came back okay. (Reminder: Nothing is conclusive until surgery). The tumor measured a little larger than originally thought…3cm instead of 2cm. According to my doctor, this doesn’t make any difference since I am planning on a mastectomy anyway, but I thought it was still scary to hear. The lymph nodes all looked normal on the MRI, but one under my arm looks enlarged. This could just be from the biopsy, very similar to when you get sick and the lymph nodes in your neck are enlarged. So like I said, only surgery will tell.

As far as my left breast, they found something they suspect is just a benign cyst, but it is recommended I get it biopsied IF I am opting for a single mastectomy. So…that is a decision we have to make this week – single or double. Sigh, nothing is black and white. I wish I knew the right answer but I think we are close to a decision. I am already high risk since I already have breast cancer, and I’ve read a lot of message boards where women are having to go through this emotional process all over again 10, 15, 20 years later on their other breast because they opted for the single mastectomy the first time around.

The doctor and I also started discussing dates, which I think put me in a funk today. All of a sudden this is becoming more real, more concrete. No more waiting for test results and researching doctors…we are trying to set a date for surgery. Part of me is ready to get this thing out of me. My mind envisions it growing in my body and taking over…I want it OUT. But another part of me is scared to take that next step because I have no idea what lies ahead.

Oct 2, 2008 – Today was a long day. We met with the plastic surgeon first thing in the morning. Jaime and I had both done a lot of research over the past couple weeks, so nothing she said was really new to us. We both liked her and she comes highly recommended, so she’s the one we’ll go with. I’m so tired of meeting with doctors and trying to make decisions. I’m ready to get my treatment started. So the plastic surgeon and breast surgeon will be deciding on a date when they are both available. I should get a call either tomorrow or Monday at the latest for a date on my bilateral mastectomy. Gulp.

My second appointment was the PET Scan. I couldn’t eat SIX hours prior, so 6am was the latest I could have eaten for a 12pm appointment. Those of you who know me well know that I would NOT be getting up before 6am just to eat. As if! So it was a long morning of smelling food EVERYWHERE and not being able to eat. Then when I get to the appointment, what do I have to do on an empty stomach? Drink this horrible, thick, “berry flavored” barium drink. Yummy. The rest of the scan was pretty easy…I had to get injected with a radioactive substance, sit on a lounge chair for 45 minutes, then spend about 20 minutes getting the scan. By dinner time, my doctor had already called with the results and everything looked good! So nothing else detected in my body. I have high hopes that the cancer is just in my right breast and that’s it.

The worst part of the PET Scan was finding out that I couldn’t hold my kids for the rest of the day because I was radioactive. I had no idea so the news upset me. I feel like I already have recovery time after surgery where I won’t be able to pick up my kids, then I will have many weak moments during chemo where I won’t be able to even take care of my kids, and now here’s a test where it’s dangerous for me to be around my kids. It just made me really upset on my drive home thinking about everything I am going through and how I’ve taken for granted just the little action of cuddling with my kids at night. This disease has definitely given me a new perspective on things….so even though it is taking a lot away, it has given me something positive…. I think I will look at things in a new light, appreciate more and worry less.

Oct 13, 2008 – About 3 weeks ago I had blood drawn for a gene test. The test was to determine if I have the hereditary BRCA1 (BReast CAncer 1) or BRCA2 gene mutation, which puts someone at an extremely high risk of getting breast or ovarian cancer. The doctor called today with the results and it came back negative!! This is great news because even though I am still considered high risk, this greatly reduces my risk of getting this horrible disease again or having my future grandchildren inherit it. I think it also means I don’t need to consider a hysterectomy anytime in the near future.

These small “accomplishments” definitely boost my spirit so I will take them when I can.

Notes from my 12-year survivor-self:  So many things to test but every single one gave my doctors a much clearer picture of what was going on and how to fight the cancer. The body really is an amazing machine that all works together. So it was important to know how this cancer was affecting my body as a whole and it even drives a lot of my decisions I make today, such as what to do to keep my hormones balanced. In the end, I did decide on the double mastectomy and have no regrets (more on that in my next blog post).

In regards to the gene test, this is dated information. There are now many more genetic markers they can test that give a better indication of future risk. I recently went through a more extensive gene test to update my records. If you are going through breast cancer treatment today, ask your doctor about genetic counseling to determine what is right for you.

In the last 12 years, I have continued to have bloodwork and follow-up appointments, but nothing like that first month after diagnosis. I started with 3 month follow-ups/bloodwork, then moved to 6 months and now am at 1 year. I have had one breast MRI in 12 years because of a little scare when I thought I felt another lump. That MRI was probably more emotional than the first one because of the fear of reoccurrence! But all in all, things are much easier these days. I am more in tune to the changes in my body and I encourage everyone to get to know all your lumps and bumps and watch for any changes.

To anyone at this stage in their treatment, things will soon become a little less overwhelming. Once active treatment starts, things settle into a bit of a groove and you find yourself counting down the days until end of treatment! So just continue to take care of yourself and use your people. You are not alone.

Stay Healthy!

Go to Breast Cancer Journey: Diagnosis for more on Angela’s breast cancer story.

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I decided to do a mile-a-day for 30 days after following an influencer, Magen Reaves, who was posting about her own commitment to walk a mile a day for 30 days. I watched on her stories as more and more started tagging her about joining the movement, literal movement, and thought why not?

By this point in Covid, all my fitness attempts had gone out the window. I was gung-ho with at-home workouts in the beginning. It was easy, it was going to be short term until gyms and studios opened back up. Well weeks turned into months and the longevity of Covid settled in. With it came a sense of powerlessness and a sort of doom. Where was this thing headed? How LONG would it take to get back to normal? Will it EVER get back to normal? And I lost motivation. It was easy to just sit around the house, do my work, keep up with bare minimum domestic duties and that was about it. There was no need to get up and actually go anywhere.

I watched the number creep up on the scale and I saw my body changing before my eyes. I know we’re not suppose to focus on the number on the scale, but rather how we FEEL.  I can tell you that the number on the scale and how I looked in the mirror made me FEEL disappointed.  I had worked so hard pre-Covid to try and get in shape. I was still a work in progress, but I let myself down by undoing all the progress I had made. And it didn’t help that at 40-something years old, I knew it was going to be REAL hard to get back where I was. But I had to start SOMEWHERE, and this mile-a-day thing seemed like a smaller goal I would be able to tackle.

Well, almost….I made it to about 23 days. Then Labor Day weekend happened and I was gone the whole weekend for soccer tournaments, and it all went out the window. I guess I could add up all the walking to and from the fields and around to get food and our walk through Ikea, but that felt like cheating to me so I gave up after 23 days.  Yes, I gave up. But the journey did teach me some things as I move forward in this everyday road to healthy:

Baby steps are still steps in the right direction: Taking 20 minutes out of my day for quick walks were baby steps to getting me moving again. By having a smaller goal that was easier to achieve, I felt a sense of accomplishment that kept me motivated to continue towards my bigger goal of “getting in shape.”

Stop and smell the flowers: I almost mean this literally!  Some of my walks I was by myself and made a conscious effort to take in the sights, sounds and smells around me. So much of my day is in front of a screen.  I mean, my background on my laptop is mountain scenery, but it’s not quite the same! But on my walks, I would allow my mind to focus on the present and could feel the weight of the day being lifted. Mental health is just as important, if not more important, than physical health, and why can’t they go hand-in-hand.

Use a support system: Find your support system and use them to motivate you. Sometimes the only reason I walked was because my husband pushed me to go on a walk with him. When you have a support system to encourage you, achieving goals is easier.

Find a way to hold yourself accountable: For me this was posting about it on social media. I walked around my house for a mile one night because I wanted to be able to post about it!  Habit trackers in a notebook or on a calendar is another way you can “check off” your accomplishments. Even just talking to someone about what you are trying to achieve will motivate you to keep moving forward.

Be kind to yourself: It’s okay to miss a daily goal every once in a while, or fall short of a longer goal like I did. Life happens and sometimes we can’t do everything we want to do on our list. Forgiving myself for not being able to do it all is something I’m still working on.

The everyday road to healthy isn’t perfect. Some days will be better than others. Let’s just keeping taking our baby steps in the right direction.

Stay healthy!

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I think it’s a well known fact that sleep is so important to our health. Adults should be getting 7+ hours of good quality sleep per night, yet over 30% of adults in the United States are suffering from short sleep duration (CDC statistic). Here are some of my favorite products (or ones recommended to me by a friend) to add to your sleep arsenal for a good night’s sleep:

1. Nordstrom Moonlight Dream Pajamas – I bought this exact set after my fashion influencer friend, Thirty Something Fashion, recommended them as a great purchase during the Nordstrom Anniversary sale. I am actually wearing them RIGHT NOW and they are so soft and comfy! My son did tell me I look like I’m from Polar Express, though.
2. Mellanni Bed Sheet Set – Amazon has been my jam during this pandemic because ordering is easy, you can find EVERYTHING, and there’s free Prime shipping. So when I needed new sheets, a quick search pointed me to this sheet set that has an average rating of 4.5 stars with over 130,000 reviews (no that is not a typo). How can 130,000 people be wrong?! The sheets are inexpensive and soooo soft!
3. Headspace App – I downloaded this app after my friend’s recommendation and I use it almost nightly. There are great soundscapes for rain and ocean waves, guided meditation, sleep radio, among other things. I can just push play and fall asleep to the sound of ocean waves.
4. Deep Sleep Body Cocoon by this works – I happened upon this by chance when it came in my FabFitFun box and I love the smell. It has an earthy, essential oils scent (patchouli/lavender possibly), and I put it on my hands and arms EVERY night before I go to sleep.
5. Spoonk Acupressure Mat – I bought this for my husband for Christmas to help with joint pain and relaxation/sleep. We keep it by our bed and each use it about once a week.
6. Weighted Blanket – I personally do not use one of these but I know so many people who swear by them for both sleep and anxiety, so I am linking a high rated (4.6 stars) Amazon option that has 19K reviews.
7. CBD infused pillow – This was another present I bought my husband to help with sleep and stress. I am linking to a more cost-conscious option here, but if you would like to splurge, this is the one I bought. Many claim that CBD oil helps with anxiety, aches and insomnia.
8. Essential Oil Diffuser – I’m linking to the exact one I purchased here, but there are so many different styles to fit your decor. We have 4 of these throughout our house and use different oils for relaxation, energy, sleep, immune support and decongestion!
9. doTERRA Serenity Oil – There are many sleep blends out there, but this is the one I use. I love the underlying hint of a vanilla scent. And of course I use it in the diffuser mentioned above!
10. Melatonin – Melatonin is a hormone naturally-made in our bodies that works with our circadian rhythm to prepare our bodies for sleep. This can be interrupted by things like stress, time changes and exposure to bright lights/screens. Taking a supplement like the one I have linked here could help get your sleep cycle back in rhythm.

So that’s what my sweet dreams are made of. I hope you find something here that helps you get a better night’s sleep!

Sweet dreams!

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It’s been a rough week for me. I don’t know what triggered it, but my Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) has been a nightly struggle for me lately. If you suffer from this, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, let me tell you what it feels like:

Imagine every single nerve ending in your legs buzzing with static electricity every time you try to relax or sleep.

Or imagine having an itch on your leg, your foot, your nose…whatever is the most annoying possible itch you could think of . Then imagine NOT being able to scratch it.

Or you know the shivers you get from nails on a chalkboard? Imagine that same shiver coursing through the nerve endings in your legs while you’re trying to sleep.

Get the picture?

I remember the first time my RLS feelings were validated. I was at an OB appointment when I was pregnant with my second child. My doctor was this sweet, little, old Middle Eastern man whose office was in an old house where the walls were covered with flowered wallpaper and the floors creaked when you walked down the hall. After the doctor’s exam, it wasn’t unusual to find yourself in his old office getting some parting advice. This particular day in his office I mentioned to him about jitters I was getting in my legs every night. He immediately exclaimed, “Oh that’s Restless Leg Syndrome!” Then this cute little old man stood up and showed me how to do calf stretches against the wall to help! 😂 That was the day that I finally had an answer to something I thought was just all in my head!

It apparently is very common during pregnancy, but some of us suffer it long after that ship has sailed. For me, sometimes the feeling comes when I’m sitting with my family watching TV at night. A quick relief is to have some nice, caring soul sitting next to me to “chopsocky” my legs which usually helps. Or I find myself on the floor stretching out my legs while watching TV. But when it comes at night at 12, 1, 2am and the rest of the house is sound asleep, it ends up being a long night of tossing and turning, stretching my legs in bed, flexing and relaxing my muscles and repeating all over again.

So it’s not a surprise that RLS sufferers scour the internet for the perfect RLS relief. Some things I’ve come across during my research:

• Lower your caffeine intake. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day. In the grand scheme of caffeine drinkers, I don’t think it’s an overabundance. And I’m not sure the alternative of quitting caffeine would be better for me, so I don’t go there yet!
• Increase exercise. This could be what’s triggering my RLS right now. Exercise has been few and far between for me. Seems like an easy enough solution. Yeah, I’ll work on that.
• Place a bar of soap under the sheets at the bottom of your bed. Say what? I know it sounds weird and super hokey, but I have no shame in saying I’ve tried it. Desperate times, desperate measures. I guess it worked? I definitely don’t swear by it but I’ve read it has something to do with the ingredients in soap interacting with the body chemistry.
• Increase magnesium. Magnesium is important for nerve and muscle function, so magnesium deficiency would cause problems with nerve impulses, muscle contractions and cramps. Ding, ding, ding! I haven’t added a magnesium supplement to my RLS arsenal yet, but it’s definitely on my short list. In the meantime, I came across this Ancient Minerals Magnesium Oil that has given me some GREAT results and very restful nights!

Why does it seem to work? I don’t know the science behind it, but oil is rapidly absorbed so when I rub it directly on my legs, maybe it’s an immediate, targeted relief. It can sting a little like razor burn (more on my calves, less on my thighs….maybe because they’re thicker, haha!) and it has a “sticky” feel, similar to the feel of salty, ocean water on your skin, but the relief I get from it is worth it. I spray it on my legs and rub it in right before bed and get a good night’s sleep.

This is not an ad but the link I have included to Amazon is an affiliate link. This is a product I found during my own online research, read about it, ordered it from Amazon and really liked it. So I wanted to share with other RLS sufferers out there.

Next on my research list…how to get rid of those spider veins!

Stay healthy!

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