Don’t put off until tomorrow, what you can do today

Things have been quiet on Everyday Road to Healthy lately and we’ve missed some meat-free Mondays.  It’s actually me…I should be holding up the fort while Deena takes care of her son, but I’m honestly having a tough time writing about anything.  How can I write about food and races and exercise while Deena’s son is suffering from this terrible disease called cancer.  It just doesn’t feel right to talk about these things during such a horrible time.

So I won’t.  We will take a break to pray for Owen.  Every free moment you have, pray.  Every child you see, pray.  Pray for Owen, pray for a cure, pray for healing and strength.  As my friend Kate says, we must flood the heavens.  I do believe in miracles and I hope you do too. 

I went to visit Deena and Owen on Wednesday.  You would think since Deena and I are long-time friends, who have partnered on a couple business ideas now, that we see a lot of each other.  But sadly, we don’t.  We both lead busy lives and we only find time to talk on instant messenger, every once in a while on the phone, and the rare occasion we meet face to face for lunch or dinner.  It’s a shame, really.

When Owen was diagnosed a couple years ago, I never imagined it would get this bad.  I assumed he would have surgery to remove the tumor, maybe go through chemo as a precaution and then he’d be back to his regular, teenage life.  So I never visited.  I didn’t visit after surgery, I didn’t visit during any of his hospital stays, I just supported Deena through instant message.  And I am angry at myself for that. 

So when I walked into Owen’s room on Wednesday, it literally knocked the wind out of me.  I was not prepared for his condition.  Every picture I have seen has been of a smiling, teenage boy.  But it is not my place to write about Owen’s condition.  Deena writes what she wants everyone to know on his Caring Bridge page.  What I can say is I am forever changed.  That visit with Owen had the biggest impact on me emotionally and mentally.  I am not the same person I was before I stepped in his room.  Every moment since that visit I have been fighting back tears.  Every moment since that visit I have to refrain from holding on to my kids too tight.  Every moment since that visit I have been praying.  And every moment since that visit I have been trying to figure out when I can go back.  Yes, as hard as it was to see Owen and Deena and the rest of their family in this situation, I felt a sense of peace being there with them.  And I feel like at this point, the only thing I can do is pray and be there, so I will.

Never again will I put off being there for someone I care about. 

P.S. I love this picture of Deena and Owen. Her brother took this at the CureSearch walk and I think he captured a precious moment between mother and son.