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April 6, 2013 ·

A year without you (after losing you to childhood cancer)

Our Cancer Stories

In my dreams you are 5 years old, you hair is the color of summer wheat and your eyes sparkle green in the light. You are laughing and running from me looking over your shoulder waiting for me to catch you. I chase you but not too quickly, I love seeing your smile and how pleased you are with yourself that you are outrunning me. But eventually I catch up to you. I pull you up into my arms and swing you around laughing. You lean back and stretch your arms out towards the sky in pure joy as we twirl, then you look back at me, reaching and I bring you in close. I breathe in your scent. And for a moment time stands still and I think how lucky I am and how perfect the day.

But then slowly something starts pulling at the edge of my consciousness. There is an unsettling, a whisper that I can’t quite hear. I feel myself grow tense. My heart starts to race. I am confused and become anxious. I hold you tighter trying to protect you. While my mind searches, trying to make sense.

Then the images start to filter in. Each like an individual photograph that has been captured in time.

And I am no longer holding you, you are no longer 5 years old. You are standing in front of me, older but your age becomes undefinable.

I start to back away, angry. The images of your life become sharper, as I begin to remember the details.

“What is this?” I say.

You say “Mom, it’s me.”

“NO“, I say. “Where is your scar?” “You have a scar that travels the length of your arm.”

My mind starts to fight for consciousness, I do not want to be here.

“You had cancer” I say to him

And he just watches me now. His eyes patient. His mouth is a quiet smile.

His eyes just search mine.. waiting.

My mind screams out. Suddenly, I am awake. Tears streaming down my face. I’m crying so hard that I can’t breathe. I’m shaking uncontrollably. I stare up at the ceiling and silently beg God, the universe, to just make it stop. I want to let out scream but there is no sound that could match the pain.

You died. YOU LEFT ME.

It’s been a year since I watched you take your last breath. Everyone says the pain will get easier. I think “everyone” hasn’t lost a child.

I want to tell you that I’m sorry. That I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you and keep you safe. That I’m sorry I lied when I said “you would be ok”. And in the end, I’m sorry that I lied when I said “I would be ok”.

I asked your brothers how they thought we should honor you today. They said we should spend the day having fun and being silly because that’s what you would want. So that’s what we’ll do, because we can’t be with you.

And tonight we will light a candle and blow it out at 10:15PM as we remember how much we have lost in losing you.

I love you, Owen.

Mom

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“Our nation owes a debt to its fallen heroes tha “Our nation owes a debt to its fallen heroes that we can never fully repay.”
~Barack Obama
#memorialday #rememberandhonor #neverforgotten
I drank celery juice every day for 30 days because I drank celery juice every day for 30 days because #celeryjuiceheals. Read more about it at https://everydayroadtohealthy.com/celery-juice-for-30-days/
#highlightreel #celeryjuicebenefits
May is Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritag May is Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month so I thought I should probably share some Asian dishes before the month is over! 😊 And while I'm not Thai (I am half Vietnamese), this Thai Basil Chicken is an easy and tasty dish you are going to want to try. You can find the link to the recipe in our profile @everydayroadtohealthy or search “Thai Basil Chicken” at www.everydayroadtohealthy.com.
Enjoy!
#healthyeating #healthyrecipes #asianfood
I was telling some friends last night about my usu I was telling some friends last night about my usual  breakfast, why I make it every day (makes meal tracking easier) and how I boost the protein (1-2 egg whites depending on my mood), and it inspired me to make a reel. 🤷🏻‍♀️
✅Add steel cut quick oats & water, measured based on package directions, to a large bowl big enough to allow for expansion during cooking (I’ve made a very messy mistake before!)
✅Add 1 or 2 egg whites
✅Whisk to break up the egg whites, unless you REALLY like large chunks of eggs in your oatmeal 😬
✅Add a dash of salt, optional
✅Microwave according to directions
✅Top with a sprinkle of cinnamon and a splash of maple syrup
Other add-ins: berries, bananas, honey, protein powder

Made with 2 egg whites, this packs a ~13.5g protein punch. When I combine with my collagen protein powder in my coffee, I’m at ~30g protein for breakfast! 💪🏼

I use @myfitnesspal to track so I can either pre-fill my breakfast all week. Or just copy from day to day. Easy peasy!

#highproteinbreakfast #healthyeating #healthylifestyle
Happy Mother’s Day, Moms! 💐 Happy Mother’s Day, Moms! 💐
So I did this thing. I became a Beautycounter Bran So I did this thing. I became a Beautycounter Brand Advocate. Mainly I did it because I was already finding a lot of products I liked, and becoming a consultant offered some perks to support my habit! 🤷🏻‍♀️ But also the more I dug into the brand, the more I realized how in line it was with the lifestyle I’m trying to live. The clean ratings for the Beautycounter line is always high (check out EWG) so I feel good about using it on my skin. BUT I’m not a salesperson, I don’t ever want my friends to feel pressured to buy anything I’m “selling”, and I really don’t have time to wear another hat in my life 😜. So if you happen to discover the line on your own and are interested in buying a product or 2 to try, send me a message or go to my page at beautycounter.com/angelafuentes. But otherwise, my plan is to not do much promoting. I’ll just be here if you need me ☺️. 
#beautycounter #cleanskincare #sustainableskincare
Happy Cinco de Mayo! 🪅 Here’s the mocktail mi Happy Cinco de Mayo! 🪅 Here’s the mocktail mix I made tonight to boost my festive taco dinner. 🌮 The mix definitely needs a little tartness, so don’t forget the splash of lime juice and club soda in each glass before serving. Salud! 🪅
#cincodemayo #mocktails #healthylifestyle
Even though skin cancer is the most common cancer Even though skin cancer is the most common cancer in the U.S., it is also one of the most preventable. Take these steps to lower your risk:
☀️Seek shade, especially during the hours of 10am-4pm when the sun is the strongest.
☀️Use physical barriers to protect your skin (clothing, hats, umbrellas, sunglasses).
☀️Use a broad-spectrum sunscreen, SPF 15 or more, every day. Apply 1 ounce to your entire body 30 minutes before going outside, and reapply every 2 hours or after swimming or sweating.
☀️Swipe to see 2 of my favorite sunscreen brands, @supergoop and @beautycounter . Supergoop has an EWG rating of 2 ✅ and Beautycounter is EWG Verified (highest rating)✅. 

☀️Stay healthy! 🕶️
#skincancerawarenessmonth #healthylifestyle #healthandwellness
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