Despite the whimsically forged “It’s a Wonderful Life” ironwork hanging on a nearby wall and a wooden sign that boasts “IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR” from its spot nestled between the nutcrackers and ceramic Santas, today feels anything but wonderful
Instead, today is heavy with loss and memories
It requires acknowledgement without distraction
An unfurling of pain and
A release of unfettered tears
Today should have been my son’s 28th birthday. But it was stolen years ago by pediatric cancer.
Most years, we spend the day celebrating Owen’s life by doing things together that he enjoyed. But today required something different of me. Today required solitude and mourning.
And that’s ok.
I could have masked it so that others felt better… but I didn’t.
Today I chose me.
I think during the holidays there is this overwhelming pressure for everything to be “wonderful”. Loss, grief, sadness are valid feelings that need an outlet – even during the holiday season.
Please check on your friends and loved ones. Maybe, like me they will just need a day to themselves and you will give them that grace. Or maybe they’ll need something more – a person that they can lean on or someone who can provide a gentle nudge towards professional help.
Sending you love, hope & strength this holiday season,
Deena
